One of my biggest turn-offs for men is in the area of Stinginess. I mean if the guy is serious about the girl or in pursuing the girl, he should be prepared to invest a portion of his $$ to nurturing the relationship. Otherwise, i say, don't bother to pursue the girl or let alone have a gf. I mean it really shows how much you care for the other party. Note: I'm using the word "Invest" because the context of my article is written with the assumption that you seriously like the girl and you are willing to explore a very beautiful journey with her.
Let me quantify my statement here, least some readers think i'm highly materialistic (FYI, I'm far from it). All i'm saying is that, if you want to pursue a girl or want to have a gf, you have to be prepared to invest a portion of your income to nurture the relationship. Doesn't have to be dinner at Les Amis or buying her a Dior bag. It can be simple things like tea/dinner at an affordable restaurant, movies etc. You catch my drift...
Yes, I am traditional, or at least i try to be. That said, one of my biggest weakness is that i am too nice. Sometimes when i see the guy not moving to take his wallet out, and me having to endure that moment of awkward silence between 3 parties, i.e. waitress, him and me, i would without a word, dish out my wallet to pay. I'm irritated when i meet men who are like that, and have definitely been through quite a few instances with such men, for me to blog on this topic.
One such experience is enough to have him elimated out of my life even as a FRIEND... Lets call him "GKN" (aka Giam Ka Na).
GKN had a liking for me. So he asked me out...
Date 1: Movie + Dinner
GKN came to pick me up. For the date, we had planned to go watch "50 First Dates" together. The car was parked at the open air lot (now no longer there) that was opp Cathay Cineleisure. That said, let me stress, this 'bozo' literally missed the turning into the carpark not once, not twice but freaking FIVE times. I can't believe how any guy can be so DUH in driving skills. I was honestly embarassed, didn't even dare to look at the 'hamsters' doing their thing on the threadmill by the glass panel at Cal fit Orchard.
After the movie, he insisted on eating at some famous hawker centre. I was FINE (honestly). The thing to note was that he actually asked, "Eh, the movie earlier was $9.50." I was rather shocked at him for asking me to pay for movie. I shrugged and paid him anyway. Then GKN, got up and said he was going to get food. I was hoping that he would make some decision to choose some food that we can both share. When he returned, guess what, this BOZO actually returned with one plate of hokkien mee with his own drink! I was totally flabbergusted. Even the most platonic of my guy friends would actually ask me what i wanted to eat or drink before they even take off to get food. Needless to say, i went home fuming mad that night.
A couple of days later, GKN asked me out to lunch again. I decided to give him another chance to see if he would behave the same way.
Date 2: Lunch
Guess what? You are right, the same thing happened.
Sigh! Such is life! One thing good that came out of it - the lesson learnt. I'm definitely sharper in sniffing men who are potential GKNs. When it happens again, I flee far away...
~Lara~
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Yes. All women want to have old fashioned relationships and be treated.
Do you really think 'heartland' Singaporeans males are 'old fashioned' and treat females?
Would you rather he pay for everything now and down the road, you end up forking everything?
Is he being rude, selfish and inconsiderate? Or just being himself, whatever that may be.
What's wrong with paying for your own share?
Don't feel offended if you do not come first in his life.
Strange... did you even read the entry properly??
I wonder- I know sometimes men excercises selective hearing- I didn't know they are into selective reading too...
LOL
I guess no one's rite no one's wrong! Its a matter of beliefs and values.
Women, as they are made, desires to be pampered and to be provided for, whether in courtship, in dating or in a marriage.
By hoping the guy pays is not a gesture of - "I wanna "chop" you or you are the guy wat." Read beyond and it could mean the women desires to be pampered.
Having said that, every rs goes thro different stages. The art of exhibiting your desire to be pampered, has to be exercised also at the right time.
Very much like Share Options.
I think we all live life agreeing to disagree. With that in mind, your views are valid.
Maybe i wasn't clear in my post entry. The point that i'm trying to make is that, if a guy is going to be pursuing a girl, he has to be prepared to pay for the date. Note the experience i went through, if you were the girl how would u feel?
As a woman, i think there is nothing wrong in paying for my own share (in fact most of my guy friends can vouch for that). But one should also consider under what circumstance allows the lady to expect the guy to pay. Ans: When the guy asks the girl out.
That said, one should also consider the stage of the relationhship between the 2 parties too. There should be a gd balance between the 2 to give and take.
Lastly, the point about "being first in his life". Perhaps it's not about being "FIRST" that i'm concerned about, as long as i a "Priority" in his life, i'll be more than contented.
I have a fren whose husband asked her for money after they watched their first movie together when they first knew each other. He even made her pay for every meal they had together thereafter. Although she questions herself what made her even give this guy a chance to put that ring on her finger, all she can see now is a loving husband who dotes on her and buys her things she needs and wants as long its within his means...
Some men out there have been wounded... some men out there have had their bad experiences with girls... some men just want to be sure before they really invest....
think abt it....
I was on a first date with this lady when we went to a supermart to pick up some drinks for a sit down by the singapore river.
I told her I was out of cash when I told out my wallet and she saw, and she offered to pay. After that she told me she liked the fact that I didn't just try to impress her by whipping out some fancy credit card and was just being honest.
Very strange encounter. Can't complain. :)
i went out with this guy whom did not even bother to pay.
I ended up paying, that's not the worst part. Worst part is that he kept the change from my money, and it's lots of change. That i mind. And it happen more than once.
Lara gal, i fully agree!
Post a Comment